Top 12 Movies -- First Half of 2004

OK...so I did end up seeing Spider-Man 2 last night, and I have updated this list accordingly. Look for the full review next week.

1. The Passion of the Christ ****
2. Spider-Man 2 ****
3. House of Sand and Fog **** (from 2003)
4. 21 Grams **** (from 2003)

5. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ***1/2
6. Secret Window ***1/2
7. Dawn of the Dead ***1/2
8. The Ladykillers ***1/2
9. Miracle ***1/2

10. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story ***
11. The Chronicles of Riddick ***
12. The Punisher ***

And if you did not read my review..."The Stepford Wives" would be the worst movie that I have seen so far this year.

Anyway, let me know what you think

Top 12 Movies -- First Half of 2004

OK...so here are the 12 best movies I have seen in the first half of 2004. Why 12? Well, two of them came out last year, and I wanted the list to have ten from this year. Also, I have not seen Spider-Man 2 yet, so that is why it is not in the list. But never fear, I'm sure it will be on the list come year end.

1. The Passion of the Christ ****
2. House of Sand and Fog **** (from 2003)
3. 21 Grams **** (from 2003)

4. Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ***1/2
5. Secret Window ***1/2
6. Dawn of the Dead ***1/2
7. The Ladykillers ***1/2
8. Miracle ***1/2

9. Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story ***
10. The Chronicles of Riddick ***
11. The Punisher ***
12. 13 Going on 30 ***

And if you did not read my review..."The Stepford Wives" would be the worst movie that I have seen so far this year.

Anyway, let me know what you think!

Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story ***
Cast: Vince Vaughn, Ben Stiller, Christine Taylor, Rip Torn, Justin Long, Stephen Root, Joel David Moore, Chris Williams, Alan Tudyk
Director: Rawson Marshall Thurber

It's the battle for Average Joe's Gym, played out in dodgeball form. Good guy Peter LaFleur (Vaughn) enters is team of marginally talented clients in a dodgeball tournament in order to get the $50,000 prize. An amount that just happens to equal the amount need to stop the forclosure on his gym. On the other side is White Goodman (Stiller), who is entering the tournament to stop the underdogs from paying off the bank so that he and hi company Globo can take over Average Joe's. "Dodgeball" embraces every sports movie cliche and runs with them, providing consistent humor throughout the movie's 92 minute running time. And of course, there are plenty of dodgeballs to the face (as well as wrenches). This is one of the funniest movies to come out in a long time, and I highly recommend it.

The Chronicles of Riddick ***
Cast: Vin Diesel, Colm Feore, Thandie Newton, Judi Dench, Karl Urban, Alexa Davalos, Linus Roache, Nick Chinlund, Keith David
Director: David Twohy

In 2000, we were introduced to Riddick (Diesel), a criminal who can see in the dark. With the video success of "Pitch Black" and the interest of Vin Diesel, a sequel was inevitable. "Chronicles" finds Riddick five years later, and still on the run from bounty hunters. When he crosses paths with old friend Inam (David), he learns that he may be the only one who is able to stop the Necromongers, lead by Lord Marshall (Feore). The Necromongers are gearing up to destroy Inam's planet, and Riddick has landed there just in time. He soon is on his way to save Jack (Davalos), a friend from the previous movie that may be able to help him out. Throw in Dame Judi Dench, and you even have a touch of class in this sci-fi action extravaganza.

Vin Diesel could very well have a real franchise on his hands here if "Chronicles" is able to make a dent at the box office. Filled with action and amazing special effects, "Chronicles" seems poised to do just that. The ending also provides a jumping off point to further adventures, so don't be surprised to see more of Riddick in a few years.

The Stepford Wives *1/2
Cast: Nicole Kidman, Bette Midler, Matthew Broderick, Christopher Walken, Faith Hill, Glenn Close, Roger Bart, Jon Lovitz
Director: Frank Oz

With all these big names attached to this movie, you can't go wrong, right? WRONG! "The Stepford Wives" is the biggest disappointment of the year (so far). The horrific story of men replacing their wives with robots that are perfect little wives has been turned into a comedy that lessens the impact of the story. The brains behind this remake have also changed the ending, essentially putting the blame back on the women! And most irritatingly of all, the wives seem to go back and forth between robots or just being the real wives with microchips in their heads that allows them to be controlled. This movie seems to be slapped together just to be able to get a few laughs out of the situation, with no regard for the audience's intelligence. All the talent in this movie is wasted. Save your money and stay away from this stinker.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban ***1/2
Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Michael Gambon, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane, David Thewlis, Alan Rickman, Gary Oldman, Emma Thompson, Tom Felton
Director: Alfonso Cuarón

It is year number three at Hogwarts, and Harry Potter (Radcliffe) and his friends are faced with a new menace: Sirius Black (Oldman) has escaped from Azkaban prison, and is supposedly looking to kill Harry. That has Hogwarts under the guard of the dementors, beings who bear an uncanny resemblance to the Ghost of Christmas Future). Also in the mix is a new professor of the dark arts by the name of Lupin, who also has issues of his own to deal with.

HP# has a very different look and feel to it than HP1 and HP2. A dampened color palette makes everything look gloomy and mysterious, even the once familiar Hogwarts. Alfonso Cuarón has replaced Chris Columbus in the director's chair, and tightened up the story. Where HP1 and HP2 tried to include everything from the books, HP3 is content to include only what director Cuarón deems necessary. Harry Potter fans should not be worried though, as some of the missing material will find its way into later movies. The three primary child actors seem more comfortable than ever in their roles, and have grown up a bit since HP2. Whether or not they will ride it out until the end of the series remains to be seen, but I think it would be difficult to see anyone else in their roles.

HP3 is also the first, and probably only movie to not have You Know Who in it, and that gives a nice breather before things to come. HP3 is an excellent movie that will not disappoint fans of the series. Now, only a year and a half to Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, but I am sure it will seem much longer.

The Day After Tomorrow **
Cast: Dennis Quaid, Jake Gyllenhaal, Sela Ward, Ian Holm, Emmy Rossum, Dash Mihok, Jay O. Sanders, Austin Nichols, Tamlyn Tomita, Kenneth Walsh
Director: Roland Emmerich

The latest disaster movie to hit theaters finds the world being overcome by another ice age as the result of global warming. The effects are amazing, as New York and Los Angeles are pummelled with uncharacteristic weather. While LA is torn up by tornadoes, NY is overcome by a rising ocean and extreme cold. Trapped in the NY library is Sam (Gyllenhaal) and some friends. They are there on a field trip and are suddenly forced to fend for their lives. Sam's dad, Jack (Quaid), is a climatologist who has warned the government many times about the dangers of global warming, to no avail. In the midst of all the chaos, he and some friends embark on a trek to get to his son. Of course, he has always let Sam down before, choosing job over family, but this time it will be different.

The father-son story is pretty standard, with nothing too remarkable happening there. The special effects, however, are awesome. Even after all the disaster movies that have come out, movie audiences always seem to enjoy seeing cities torn apart my forces beyond their control, even if the science behind the global warming is iffy. If you are interested in good special effects and do not need a terribly original story, this one is for you. But, if you are looking for something that is somewhat original, you may want to stay away.

Shrek 2 ***
Cast (voices): Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, Julie Andrews, Antonio Banderas, John Cleese, Rupert Everett, Jennifer Saunders
Directors: Andrew Adamson, Kelly Asbury, Conrad Vernon

Newlyweds Shrek (Myers) and Fiona (Diaz) are summoned to meet Fiona's parents (Cleese and Andrews) in the kingdom of Far, Far Away. This causes some unease in Shrek, who worries about what they will think of him and their now-ogre daughter. Compounding the problems is Prince Charming (Everett), who wants Fiona as his wife. Back are the voices from the previous movie, with a few extra stars added to the mix. The most noticeable new addition is Puss in Boots, voiced by Antonio Banderas. He is a Zorro-like assassin sent by Charming's mother to do away with Shrek, but eventually comes over to the good side. And he is just so adorable with his big eyes.

"Shrek 2" is about as good as its predecessor. The writer find a way to continue a story that was really complete in one movie, and it doesn't feel unnecessary. Kids and adults will find humor and enjoyment in the misadventures of Shrek and his gang. This is much better than Disney's "Home on the Range" and a good destination for a family night out.

Here are some very cool and new "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban" movie posters:

Everything Will Change

Character Will Be Tested

Darkness Will Descend

Mysteries Will Unfold

Secrets Will Be Revealed

Godsend **
Cast: Greg Kinnear, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Robert De Niro, Cameron Bright
Director: Nick Hamm

When the Duncan's son is killed in a car accident, Paul (Kinnear) and Jessie (Romijn-Stamos) are approached by Dr. Richard Wells (DeNiro). It seems that he has perfected the ability to clone someone by using just a single cell. He is interested in doing that for the Duncans, giving them a second chance with a genetically identical child. After some initial unease, the Duncans agree, and Adam #2 is born nine months later. The first eight years are great, with both Paul and Jessie feeling like they did the right thing to get that second chance. But, when Adam reaches the age the he had originally died at, he begins having night terrors and acting strangely.

At first glance, "Godsend" seems like it will be a movie that looks at the issue of cloning, but in the end, the movie side-steps the issue all together, opting for essentially what is an "outside" explanation. And that is disappointing, to say the least.

Troy **1/2
Cast: Brad Pitt, Eric Bana, Orlando Bloom, Diane Kruger, Sean Bean, Peter O'Toole, Brendan Gleeson, Brian Cox, Julie Christie, Saffron Burrows, Julian Glover, Rose Byrne
Director: Wolfgang Petersen

Homer's "The Illiad" comes to life in this epic reenactment of the fall of Troy. Banished are the Greek gods, who are referred to a lot, but never seen. And that is probably for the best, although that is probably the most noticeable change from the source material.

Hector (Bana) and Paris (Bloom) from Troy are on a peaceful mission to Sparta, when Paris falls for the beautiful Helen (Kruger). Paris takes her back to Troy, enraging her husband Menelaus. Menelaus enlists the help of his brother, King Agamemnon (Cox), and his army to retrieve her. Agamemnon sees this as a opportunity to increase his empire, and is more than willing to help, summoning his prized warrior Achilles (Pitt). Achilles, we find out, will fight for Agamemnon, but only when it suits him.

The battle scenes are grand in detail and the special effects mesh seamlessly with the live actors, and one has come to expect in movies these days. The problem lies more in the characters. With the exception of Hector, the characters seem rather flat and unlikeable. One could argue that Hector is the most noble character in the whole movie, and that is something that really gets him nowhere in the end. All in all, "Troy" is enjoyable, but not as good as it could have been.

Home on the Range **1/2
Cast: Roseanne Barr, Judi Dench, Jennifer Tilly, Cuba Gooding Jr., Randy Quaid, Charles Dennis, Steve Buscemi
Directors: Will Finn, John Sanford

"Home on the Range" may be the last hand-drawn Disney feature for the foreseeable future. Disney is going the way of computer animation and forsaking the old ways. That being said, "Home on the Range" represents Disney's animated films going out with a whimper. Well not a bad movie, it is not a great one either. It falls somewhere in the "who cares?" range, and will probably be easily forgotten.

The Patch of Heaven ranch is facing foreclosing, and the owner will not sell her cows because they are like family. The cows get the bright idea to track down Alameda Slim, a wanted outlaw, and collect the reward that just so happens to match the amount needed for the ranch.

The voices are middle of the road too. Roseanne Barr voices the main cow, and she is just as obnoxious sounding as ever. Judi Dench gives us a British sounding cow, and Randy Quaid voices the bad guy. The songs are average as well.

In the end, kids will probably enjoy it, but it may wear on adults patience. Some adult humor is sprinkled in (giving the film a PG rating), but it actually seems out of place. The best bet on this one would be to wait until it comes out on video.

Mean Girls ***
Cast: Lindsay Lohan, Tina Fey, Lizzy Caplan, Rachel McAdams, Lacey Chabert, Daniel Franzese, Tim Meadows, Jonathan Bennett, Amanda Seyfried
Director: Mark S. Waters

Cady Heron (Lohan) has traveled all around the world and has been home schooled for most of her life by her parents. But, when her parents finally settle down, she is introduced to the harsh world of high school. Janis and Damian, two of the less cool kids, befriend her and teach her the ways of the school and explain the various groupings of students. One group, the "plastics" is the prettiest, most popular, and bitchiest in the whole school. When Cady gets invited into this group, she decides to bring them down from within, with the help of Janis and Damian. And while most of their schemes backfire, the plastics eventually suck Cady in and make her truly one of them.

Although not based on a "Saturday Night Live" skit, this movie is swarming with SNL players. Lorne Michaels produced it and Tina Fey wrote and stars in it as Cady's math teacher. And unlike most SNL movies, this one is actually quite good and funny. My one complaint is that instead of having a bit more edgy ending, they opt to take a more "happy" route. I think that this movie will appeal most to teens, who will definitely be able to relate to the high school atmosphere in the movie, but adults can enjoy it as well. In fact, they might even come to understand their kids a bit more, for good or for bad.

Spider-Man 2 posters

Here are some fairly new movie posters for the new Spider-Man movie that comes out at the end of June. They are all very cool, but it think "Destiny" is my favorite. Check them out!

Sacrifice

Choice

Destiny

Van Helsing ***
Cast: Hugh Jackman, Kate Beckinsale, Richard Roxburgh, David Wenham, Shuler Hensley, Elena Anaya, Will Kemp, Kevin J. O'Connor
Director: Stephen Sommers

With the Success of "The Mummy" and "The Mummy Returns", it was no surprise that Universal Pictures gave writer/director Stephen Sommers the green light to use the big three: Dracula, the Wolfman, and Frankenstein's monster, in a big budget action/horror movie. And while "Van Helsing" is more action and less horror, it is still an entertaining ride.

Van Helsing (Jackman) is a monster hunter that secretly works for a religious organization that polices the supernatural. He is sent to Transylvania to stop Count Dracula (Roxburgh). Dracula is searching for Frankenstein's monster, because he holds the key to bringing Dracula's evil spawn to life. Aided by a local vampire hunter by the name of Anna (Beckinsale), they venture forth to stop the evil blood sucker.

"Van Helsing" is a very loud movie that is relentless in its action. There is very little down time for the viewer to catch his breath. While that would be good in a shorter movie, at 135 minutes it is a bit tiring. The special effects are on par with the Mummy movies, that is to say, good but not great, and that suits the tone of the movie just fine. "Van Helsing" is a great start to the summer blockbuster season.

13 Going on 30 ***
Cast: Jennifer Garner, Mark Ruffalo, Christa B. Allen, Jack Salvatore Jr., Kathy Baker, Phil Reeves, Judy Greer
Director: Gary Winick

In 1987, after a disasterous thirteenth birthday party, Jenna Rink wishes she could just be 30 years old and skip the next seventeen years. A sprinkle of pixie dust gives her that wish, and when she awakens, she quickly finds out that her with has come true. The year is 2004, and Jenna (Garner) is an editor for Poise magazine and best friends with Lucy (Greer), the popular girl from her teenage years. In a panic, she seeks out her childhood best friend Matt (Ruffalo). Unfortunately for her, their friendship ended badly years ago. Reluctantly, he agrees to help her, and Jenna soon discovers feelings for him that she never had before.

Yes, we have seen this movie before. Big, anyone? But what this movie has that really makes it enjoyable is Jennifer Garner. She imbues thirty year old Jenna with the spirit of a thirteen year old. Her channelling of her inner child is what really makes this movie work. Also, the movie doesn't take itself too seriously. After all, the "time travel" is accomplished with pixie dust. This is a sweet and funny movie that shows Jennifer Garner can do comedy as well as action.

The Punisher ***
Cast: Thomas Jane, John Travolta, Will Patton, Laura Harring, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, Ben Foster, John Pinette, Samantha Mathis, Roy Scheider
Director: Jonathan Hensleigh

Federal agent Frank Castle's (Jane) last mission before retirement goes wrong, and the son of local mob boss Howard Saint (Travolta) is killed. Saint is not above revenge, and on the advice of his wife, targets Castle's entire family. The massacre at a family reunion leaves everyone dead, or at least presumed dead. The sole survivor, of course, is Castle, who embarks on a quest to deliver punishment to Saint and his lackeys. Yet another movie that is based on a comic book, The Punisher manages to be depressing and horrifying in parts, and humorous in others. The lighter moments make the heavier ones easier to take and provide some relief. Thomas Jane, a relatively new face in movies, does an excellent job as a man bent on revenge...make that punishment.

Kill Bill: Volume 2 ***
Cast: Uma Thurman, Daryl Hannah, Michael Madsen, David Carradine, Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox, Gordon Liu (Pai Mei)
Director: Quentin Tarantino

The Bride (Thurnman) is back, and set to continue her revenge streak in Volume 2. Her targets: Elle (Hannah), Budd (Madsen), and of course, Bill (Carradine). Along the way, we get flashbacks of her training and the wedding massacre that would set her on her course of revenge. This is a better movie than Volume 1, focusing more on characters than action. Volume 2 is also a (marginally) better film than Volume 1. It can stand on its own, and feels more like a Tarantino film, despite being essentially a love story. To me, David Carradine was the scene stealer as the titular Bill. Whereas in Volume 1, he was a mysterious figure, he is probably the most developed character in Volume 2. Tarantino has made two interesting films that really could have been shortened down into one that might have been better than the sum of its parts.

Walking Tall ***
Cast: The Rock, Neal McDonough, Johnny Knoxville, John Beasley, Barbara Tarbuck, Kristen Wilson, Khleo Thomas, Ashley Scott, Michael Bowen
Director: Kevin Bray

Special Ops veteran Chris Vaughn (The Rock) returns home with hopes of working at the local sawmill, but soon discovers that his hometown has changed quite a bit in his absence. The sawmill has closed, and the main business in town is a casino that is run by his old friend Jay Hamilton (McDonough). They quickly become enemies, with Hamilton's casino being trashed, and Vaughn being beaten and left for dead. Vaughn is able to clear himself and then runs for sheriff. His victory over the old sheriff all but ensures another showdown with Hamilton.

"Inspired" by a true story, Walking Tall is a remake of a movie of the same name that fictionalizes the true story more than the original did. This is a movie that really did not need to be made, but The Rock once again steps up and salvages some enjoyment out of it. He has the charisma and presence to be the next big action star. He is really the only reason to see this movie, and one can easilly see this as another stepping stone in the movie career of The Rock.

The Ladykillers ***1/2
Cast: Tom Hanks, Irma P. Hall, Marlon Wayans, J.K. Simmons, Tzi Ma, Ryan Hurst, Diane Delano
Director: Joel Coen & Ethan Coen

Professor G. H. Dorr (Hanks) arrives in the southern town of Saucier with the intent of robbing a riverboat casino. He makes arrangements to stay with a elderly widow named Marva Munson (Hall), whose house just happens to be close to the casino's vault. Under the guise of practicing their music, his "band" members begin holding practice sessions in the basement. Little does Marva know, they are tunnelling their way to a fortune. The characters alone are pure Coen brothers, each imbued with their own wacky traits. And everything seems to be going well for the team of crooks, but the best laid plains often go awry. This is one of the Coen brothers' funnier efforts, even though it is a remake of a 1955 British film. The are able to make it their own with the character s and the execution. I would highly recommend this movie.